all the "you still have me" and "i'll be there" were bulls h i te.
whatever. sick of getting mad at you already. do what you want. i dont care anymore. really.

anyway, moving on to happier topics :)
prommy prom ltr! quite excited despite myself.
haha. stupid tings better call me ltr.
went to find shoesies with ree ystd! and she helped me find this nice daniel yam pair :D thanks dear. you made me a lot happier though you probably didnt know it. anywayy we're going bugis for hair (she thought it was wheelock i dno why) hope it'll turn out fine..i really dont wanna be all screwed up..oh and had manicure again with the girls. erm 2 of my fingers are already ruined thanks to veet..shall not lapse into long incessant story..
ooh and on thurs i saw ths girl..she was going for prom i think. and she was abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous. jeez! stood there, mesmerised for a second when she stepped outta her merc. haha do i sound like a psycho pl or what.

anyway. shall get outta here. typing little notes for all my loveleeee girls
:) pardon me for being annoying gay today.
no pun intended.
so exciting lalalala!

; michelle branch

One less call to answer
Feeling full of despair
Don't think I can get through it
Just one last prayer
And it's a leap of faith
When you believe
There's someone out there
It's a leap of faith
When you believe that
Someone cares, oh
And when I call out to you
Will you be right there
Right there

Searching for the answer
Nobody seems to care
Oh how I wish that
You were here
Beside me
To wipe away my tears

And it's a leap of faith
When you believe
There's someone out there
It's a leap of faith
When you believe
That someone cares, oh
And when I call out to you
Will you be right there
Right there

aight. one last time, baby.

; vanessa carlton

Crashed on the floor when I moved in
This little bungalow with some strange new friends
Stay up too late, and I'm too thin
We promise each other it's till the end
Now we're spinning empty bottles
It's the five of us
With pretty eyed boys girls die to trust
I can't resist the day
No, I can't resist the day

Jenny screams out and it's no pose
'Cause when she dances she goes and goes
Beer through the nose on an inside joke
I'm so excited, I haven't spoken
And she's so pretty, and she's so sure
Maybe I'm more clever than a girl like her
The summer's all in bloom
The summer is ending soon

It's alright and it's nice not to be so alone
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses

Maybe I'm a little bit over my head
I come undone at the things he said
And he's so funny in his bright red shirt
We were all in love and we all got hurt
I sneak into his car's cracked leather seat
The smell of gasoline in the summer heat
Boy, we're going way too fast
It's all too sweet to last

It's alright
And I put myself in his hands
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses
Love, or something ignites in my veins
And I pray it never fades in white houses

My first time, hard to explain
Rush of blood, oh, and a little bit of pain
On a cloudy day, it's more common than you think
He's my first mistake

Maybe you were all faster than me
We gave each other up so easily
These silly little wounds will never mend
I feel so far from where I've been
So I go, and I will not be back here again
I'm gone as the day is fading on white houses
I lie, put my injuries all in the dust
In my heart is the five of us
In white houses

And you, maybe you'll remember me
What I gave is yours to keep
In white houses

'off.

argh. super pissed off with my mum. she DOES NOT understand, fullstop dont know why i bother talking to her anyway. waste my breath.

anyway. shall not ruin the entry. here's to my bestie..this is like, the most cliched thing ever but! love you always, babe. there's so much i couldnt say before you leave, but you know right? so here goes, 4 years, so much happened..so much to say, so little time, the words just dont come out..but one look in your eyes and i know i dont have to say anything, i miss you. till youre back, please dont do anything too naughty with your macdonald guy -winks- and call me! i had the best day of my life today. (here's a cliched song for you..)

as we go on,
we remember
all the times we
had together
and as our lives change
come whatever
we will still be
friends forever :)

and i really really mean it, girl.

TEN 10 DAYS FROM NOW (change of date :D)

-//im not in love, this time, this night.

just had class..the kids were totally craving for attention. except from this cute little girl who was so quiet i kinda felt sorry for her. anyway. totally drained after 2 hours of math with like, only 3 primary school kids..-falls flat on floor-

dyed hair w my sis..i really really hope i dont turn out like some ah lian! sheesh. anyway, gotta collect my dress in 3 days time. cant wait to see! want it to turn out nice so badly..

im like sooo lackadaisical right now. not to mention lethargic. mm but im loving every minute of it. haha. but sometimes i still get that unsettling sense of urge to go study for the o levels! like maybe there's a secret subject that i havent taken and i didnt know. okay stop it.

my purrfectly manicured nails were pretty and glossy but .. it somehow lost its shine :'( ahh. what a tragedy! i realise to do sound bimbotic as i whine in dismay when a corner of my nail colour chips off. but it. is. very. depressing..! sigh. steph sq kermin, our nails need to grow quick so we can go do french manicures before grad night! haha. and i need to pluck my brows badly. and also shave like, all over. cant seem to find my kitten heelies anywhere. damn. hopefully vnc will surreptitiously display theirs in a corner so that no one will buy till i go and get the right colour and all. haha. evil me. anyway let me recount..my memory is failing me..

went swimming ystd i think. yea. and sauna-ing too..like the old times with the girls (lao peng you..haha) totally braised in there. suddenly remember something. steph! yer boobies! -gasp- hee. anyhow. shall subtly mention that ive failed miserably at swimming since i havent swam those one shot 10, 20 laps kinda swimming session since like, primary school. and thanks to the mocks/prelims/o levels preparation, i havent moved a muscle. but im proud to say ive been exercising regularly ever since! by walking/running/skipping/dragging feet/jogging/climbing/ambling about from shop to shop, shopping centre to shopping centre, house to house, eatery to eatery, traffic light after traffic light..okay you get the picture. (my arms are STILL aching from lugging those 4 crazily heavy books that steph lent me around town the whole day..) i only like, rest my legs to sleep or to sit on the seats in shoe shops. okay, practically la. and not too long ago, i was stupid enough to wear heels to shop! imagine the agony. almost 14hours in them. and on that day, we THOUGHT we were late for our manicure appointment and RAN from far east to hollywood secrets..traumatised. hmm anyway..been out with (ree, im so sorry..we shall make it another day k?) steph sq & kermin..aileen (for those impromtu dinners..heh heh. sorry and thanks) and ystd with tings! watched the shutter..omg that show is A FREAK SHOW. we were both huddled under my M size jkt throughout the movie, squeezing each other's hands and peeking through our fingers to catch sights of that HORRIBLE GRUESOME face. and screaming scare after scare..okay maybe i was the only one screaming but she was the one breaking out in cold sweat. haha funny. love you, darling :) and also, the discovery of THE red mango top. -nods. ooh and bumped into rol&co! hi sweetie -waves-

i wonder when will britney spears' curious be introduced in the local mkt..hope its not too late. oh well. anyway.

SIMS TWO!
haha sudden delirious outburst.

steph hello girlie! you signed! :D haha yea yer megan is v high and erm affectionate..and sooo cutee!! (esp whn it plays with the cadbury toy..) you need to get it a hairband or something to show off its adorable head! instead of letting its mane cover everything up..haha. me and my ridiculous ideas..anyway. im ALREADY working..and dying at the same time. kids -shakes head- and dnt b upset with your haircut la..hope i didnt just remind you of it. maybe the hairdresser needed the money to save his erm, bed bound mother or something. so its for a good cause! and anyway its nice. and you need to think about your dress..the 'sulphur' one at bcbg was nice la you! (and so were your boobies. ok i didnt just say that..) but yea its a little too whatever for a secondary school graduation..but only a little la. nicee! i dyed my hair today..diy-ed with my sis..hope it doesnt screw up ._. cos its still wet now so cant really see the diff..please! my hair is UTTERLY GROSS. thick and humongous and untamed..sq was v disapproving of my hair when attempting to blow dry them curved inward :( 'untamed hair!' she exclaimed, shaking her head. haha omg i forgot how to spell head..i typed haid. sheesh! and im loving yer bring it on :D i really really love jesse bradford. he's like, THE ultimate cutest to me..haha. he was even hotter in swimfan. mm sigh. my nails arent "perfectly manicured anymore"! how i long for that night when we were happily waving it around. its ruined! :( but ahh we're going for french right?? :D so www this thurs? lovee ya babe! :)

nana excuse me. youve been procrastinating me. haha. and yes, her name is cameron diaz. i think she sucks cos she is wayy too ditzy for my liking. got more than a little annoyed watching her. yes i agree! she doesnt have nice breathtaking smiles lor. lucy liu does.

mm. feeling rather worn out. so stayed home today to hopefully get some colour..busy busy week..off to watch bring it on again! jesse bradford is THE cutest.
:)

10 DAYS FROM NOW (oh my god)

huh. why did blogger change again?
anywayyyy its finally over :D
never felt so relieved in my life.
but not exactly like overly happy or anything over that prospect. dno why.
but psyched!
shopping, tanning, everything la.
wanna catch taxi and shutter! heard all the fab reviews..gisele bunchen. hot hot!
wild wild wet-ing tmrw :D :D
exciting exciting!
and im gna have the sims 2
HEH HEH HEH.
when i get my hands on it, its time to hibernate at home and get my arse glued to the chair.
had like, a feast just now. i hpe you catch my sacarsm. ate awful jap food at cine. never ever stepping food in there again. and what service?? you must be kidding. oh well. mm i love tangs' xmas decorations ths year. thrs like, an excerpt from the bible in yellowish shiny light. all very pretty -nods. its all so fairy-tale! and thr was this unknown funfair going on near wheelocks. ths super brave girl was singing her heart out though people were just walking away and the turnout was kinda disheartening. steph's idol. haha. and i'd say that xmas tree behind the stage there was the prettiest! butterflies with light! :) oh! bought ths choker for grad. :) left with studs and shoesies!
right gna surf for a while and hit the sacks
night!

EIGHTEEN 18 DAYS from now.

my mum finally noticed that i have bangs well above my eyebrows now
and her comments were 'i thought the same?'
sheesh.
sis is so very into online shopping now .. its like the stocks for her. constantly checking out the bids ._.
dad got a gold car. i think there seems to be a pattern in the colour of cars he choose to buy. its as though he thinks they are a symbol of prosperity or something. err i dont know the older generation .. hope i could end up like this too when i age! oh my.

anyway. needed to exult a little .. got my grad dress settled! :D
yay no more nightmares of wearing identical dresses (i do hpe no one tailors the same design!!) with anyone else (imagine the turmoil especially when the other person looks stunning while i look like a rice sack) or finding some trash off the rack in my desperation not to wear a towel. hope the tailor does a good job and that it'll turn out like i wanted to. cos i think she conned my money (not that i paid the deposit .. they didnt accept nets)!

aileen : thanks for accompanying and everything (nissa too) pay you back asap!

mm, just had tuition. thank god for tuition or i wouldve thrown amath outta the window. yknow the mindset nw is aiyah only paper 2 left .. study sciences first. not that im actually doing a good job with drilling chemistry and physics facts in my brains ..

let me recount what i did ystd .. oh went to study with ree at our usual delifrance corner .. were happily watching people trip over the step when they enter. like at least 10 people tripped! haha. and their natural response would be to look up, feigning nonchalance and check to see if anyone caught them in their moment of embarassment. and of course, the 2 of us would be looking back and hiding our smiles. heh heh. we're so evil. at least we didnt laugh in their faces .. anyway happy 14 mths, girl :) (so so sorry for holding you back in the loo due to my disastrous hair) and she was damn lame .. she slipped her pullover over her head and tapped me from the back, thinking she wouldve transformed some sort of freaky ghost by doing just that and reduce me to tears or something .. i dont know. but i, on the other hand, thought she got stuck in the pullover so i tugged it down with such might and then silently prided myself for my sudden apparent strength while returning to my physics ten year series. then we both kept quiet for a moment then she asked 'you not scared arh?' hahaha. sheesh! really lame but i thought it was hilarious. was so freaking bewildered .. scared for what?? were laughing like retards when we found out. okay think im deprived of laughter so stuff like that make me laugh even as im typing now .. ._. saw sq! she was going for french ! that smartypants is gonna ace her french, i tell you.

aights. going out for dinner soon. gotta do some physics&chem when im back or i'd like, die of guilt.
tatas'

-// im trying not to fade away as we do;
im trying not to care as i find out more and more each day that you dont.

ITS TWENTY DAYS FROM NOW.

great. happily rambled this long entry and it disappeared.

bought new glamour! (aileen, i owe you. remind me!) its my new favourite mag. cos its gripping and everything i want in a magazine. (and it smells really nice too, dnt knw why) still buy teenvogue though. haha. mini mags rocks! :)
okay that was really cheesy.

hmm. hope to settle my dress tmrw. though greyish doesnt match baby baby pink..! tsk.

im totally loving without you by kimberly locke and clay aiken. i knw im slow but it suddenly appeals. like some magical broadway song. or some disney song composed for beauty and the beast. or sleeping beauty. yknow what i mean. mm. replaying and replaying it. haha

you tell me its okay.
it wasnt what i wanted to hear.
baby stop stinging.

anyway was watching spore idol..havent been catching that show for some time and ive never been a fan of sylvester (he really does look like a typical spore cheena guy whose favourite shirt would be a pink Pure Milk tee or something though it might not be the case) but i was so melting when he delivered his rendition of jay chou's song! jeez.

and the champion was so saddening! was like, trying not to cry (but to no avail) when that ah long and jingwen's dad died. sheesh. now jingwen is the sole breadwinner of the family! shes young, studying, teaching swimming lessons, in a swim team and has to provide for her 2 other siblings! i'd like, die. and shes really pretty, that jeanette aw. only 3 more episodes to the finale! thank goodness toro found out that yilin maligned fiona xie regarding the stupid steroids.
hmm.

and just because someone loves you doesnt mean you do. just because you dont doesnt mean they arent the nicest you'd ever get. they usually are. just because you like someone doesnt mean they really do too. just because youre used to being treated like the people in the first genre do means they are like that too. theyre usually not.
mm. anyway.

wanted to say something but i forgot.
what was it??

Usher
There's always that one person
that will always have your heart
You never see it coming,
cause you're blinded from the start
Know that you're that one for me,
it's clear for everyone to see
Ooh baby, you will always be my boo

Alicia
I don't know about y'all
but I know about us and uhh
it's the only way we know how to rock

ooh! i finally recalled whats the smell ive been sniffing at home. its my lancome! shall go back to using that trusty ol' scent. growing kinda sick of RL blue. (btw RL blue for males rocks rocks rocks)

haha! i discovered the ability to conceal. magic blog. quite fun!
mm. ignore me.

im in a terrible crappy mood. just typing whatever i feel like typing. the points dont even link. haha. on quite a roll.

nana : thanks for asking and being there. i really really needed it (though practically nobody else seems to care to knw what it is that i need..) ok nvm. im depressed. or maybe im just trying not to be depressed. mm i dno. anw, you arh. im not little twit k. box you.

ITS TWENTY ONE 21 DAYS FROM NOW.

chopped off my fringe!
._.
it wasnt supposed to be this way but the hairdresser made the choice for me.
happily insisting that i'll look like some girl next door instead of ah lian.
like real.
i really hope nobody mistakes me as some ah lian
though there were already some confirmations on the day just before i got my bangs. oh god. traumatising.
IM NOOOOT AH LIAN!
but i guess its not that bad cos everyone thought it was nicer than my previous 'gangly' fringe (as quoted by my very nice bestie) and now that my hair is growing longer, i discover that it have wavy hair! ugh, how gross. like the bottom curls about according to its own will. and its not nice curls like people get when they do ceramic perming. this is really gross. gta think of wht to do with these unsightly curls.
sigh. shall stop incessantly prattling..

ooh. got new wallet! (its stussy, pink with stars ;D) and like, other stuff too.
happy :)
btw caught cellular and doll master over the weekend. cellular's really good! (theres this super hottie in it! really cute and good bod. shall check out his name soon. haha) though the woman's acting skills quite dusty. doll master was the usual scare and i was not freaked out at all! right? -nudges a certain someone.
and i shall start mugging hard now
in hopes to effectively replace all the guilt..

- geog and physics papers on 17th (VERY taxing day. will prolly be in a bad mood after it all :(
- amath paper 2 on 18th
- (LAST PAPER!) chem on 19th
and im done.
HAHAHA.
:D
tanning, xmas shopping!, trimming eyebrows, manicures, shopping, swimming, catching up with friends, SLEEPING, blah blah, here i come..hehe.

is this thing on? ...
i love rock and roll
so put another dime in the jukebox baby
i love rock and roll
so come on take the time and dance with me :D

right. maybe i should stop fantasizing first and be more practical now..

nana : nobody bullied me :D im happy, y'see. saw tanny ystd and said hi btw. she was oh-so greeeen. haha. we shall go your house and carry out a friends-and-stuff-ourselves-with-food marathon kayy?

-// procrastinated and also procrastinating in this predicament.

Sometimes
Gonna try
Run and hide
Get away from this
I'll get by
In this life
This time

SHIT.
i need to stop acting as though o's has ended and that my worries are all in another universe. happily went shopping today. bought a bag and a top and rubber bands to last me an entire lifetime and 2 books. obviously, was totally extremely EXUBERANT and GAY but now im totally guilt tripping. but i did an emath paper2! okay, like wow -rolls eyes- and yesterday i happily went to help to buy somebody's (i dnt even knw her) birthday present. not that i minded cos ystd was a day to relax after the prev taxing week (im just recaping)..and okay yea and i bought a top while doing that too. oh no this is very very bad. this is what happens to slack-proclived people like me when there is only one paper for the whole of next week.
argh. thats it. i proclaim tomorrow as mugging day. absolutely.

hmm. throat hurts.

anyways papers were quite okay
except for, i reiterate, the freaking higher chinese paper.
and some others that were partially un-okay. and i know i wont do well la. but yes im sleepy and dnt knw what i blubbering about.
so, night.
yes, i have a very tough mugging day tomorrow.
i need my emath!

-// pick yourself up and go.

in the midst of o's..
ahh! cant believe im doing it already.
higher chinese was like shit ystd. compo was like HUH.
ss was okay i guess. haha japan industrial development! :)
was talking to linwei whn i bumped into her while taking the bus home..shes very cute. friends and america's next top model and sex and the city. hahah.

tings is leaving a month from now..
and i feel like im breaking apart.
not like anybody cares anyway.
yup. off.
:)